“My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we’ve started to call her ‘I can’t believe she’s not better’.”

“I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.”

“My wife – it’s difficult to say what she does. She sells seashells on the seashore.”

These are just some of the jokes that have landed Milton Jones the title of the king of one liners.

The critically acclaimed comedian, who has featured on Mock The Week, Live at The Apollo and Michael MacIntyre’s Roadshow is treating audiences to a brand new show, Ha!Milton, which, despite the name, he promises is not a musical.

Milton has been captivating audiences throughout the years due to his trademark zany one-liners and quick thinking quips.

Ha!Milton is a “whole new show of daftness” and Milton confessed, “This is not a musical. I am tone deaf and have no sense of rhythm, but at least I don’t make a song and dance about it.”

Milton is bringing his show to Taunton, Yeovil, Bath and Frome Picture: Jiksaw

Milton chatted to your Leveller recently ahead of his upcoming shows in Somerset this year.

“I need people to read the blurb of the show very carefully,” he joked.

“This is my musical journey of someone who is completely useless at music.

“It starts off with me in a nativity play at five years old. I’m angel A – whereas the other children call me Angela.

“I forget my words, I don’t know what to sing but fortunately I have a crib sheet in the manger.

“Basically, the show is 200 to 250 gags. If people like to escape from all the gloom and darkness going on in the world at the moment, this is just daftness for a couple of hours.

“I use artificial intelligence in the show, which some people call overhead projectors, and there’s lots of props. I wear a massive samosa on my head – what’s not to like?

“Actually, I say that, but sometimes when I perform at other events I look out into the audience and see some people just staring at the stage, occasionally looking at other members in the audience as if to say ‘What are you all laughing at?’

“Good thing is my audience tends to know what they’re in for.

“Sadly, for her anyway, one woman shouted during my support act the other week, ‘I thought this was a musical’ as it turns out her husband bought her tickets to see me for her birthday but she assumed she was going to see the musical Hamilton.

“I’m afraid the whole audience laughed at her. I hope it works both ways – I like the idea of someone going to see Hamilton and standing up to say, ‘Where’s Milton?'”

Mock The Week and Taskmaster

“By not playing the game I seemed to find a niche.”

Milton was a fan favourite on Mock The Week, with his quick wit often having both audience members and fellow comedians in stitches, but he says the show required a lot of work.

“The first couple of times you do it can be a bit scary as the audience doesn’t know who you are at the start,” he said.

“If you didn’t prepare enough it felt like you couldn’t get a word in and its always seven people trying to feet through a door for two.

“The amount of homework you had to do on the various different topics that could potentially come up weren’t easy. Its like an exam as you’d revise stuff that might not come up – or even if you did, it was sometimes the only joke about that subject which would mean it wouldn’t make its way into the edit.

“I can’t complain as I did it for 13 years and it was amazing it terms of publicity. I initially didn’t think my style of humour would work on a topical panel show, but by not playing the game I seemed to find a niche.”

Milton said he has not been asked to go on Taskmaster as of yet but that he would love to.

“I’d love to do it but I’ve never been asked. It seems like it would be right up my street, but who knows what politics might be involved.”

Performing in Somerset

Milton grew up in Kew in London and so when asked about the difference between London crowds and those in Somerset, he said: “London crowds tend to be more arms folded – it feels like more of a night out in the west country.

“There seems to be plenty of cider drinkers which makes it one to look forward to as everyone is there for a good time.”

He added: “I always look forward to going west as I know it will be great fun – even without the audience conforming to the rather unfair stereotype of bumpkins.”

Milton said he is looking forward to performing at Frome’s Cheese and Grain as the venue has hosted many famous faces over the years – including Foo Fighters and Paul McCartney.

“It will be such an honour to be there again,” he said. “The venue has hosted some great acts – now they have me!”

Of course, we had to ask if he had any jokes up his sleeve about Somerset.

“It was my wife’s birthday recently so I took her to an orchard in Somerset.

“We stood for about 20 minutes – not the apple watch she wanted!”

State of the comedy scene

When asked about the impact social media has on the career of up and coming comedians, Milton said, “the doors of influence have changed,” he said.

“Even things like the Edinburgh Festival are less important than they used to be because people can perform directly to their audience via social media.

“This is good in a way, but the trouble is there’s so many of them it can be quite hard for people to break through against the sheer volume.

“The nature of social media is that is keeps wanting more – those people have to produce so much output and it can be quite random what takes off – I wouldn’t like to be on that treadmill.

Picture: Jiksaw

“Stand up is like learning a musical instrument except you’re doing all of your practise in public.”

Milton was asked what his best advice is to those looking to break into the comedy scene.

“I think you have to push social media,” he said. “But more importantly than that is the attitude you approach your effort with.

“A lot of people say they want to do stand-up but you need to throw yourself at it 100% for a year. Its a bit like a rugby tackle – if you go into it thinking it will hurt, it will. But if you go in 100% it hurts less as you’ve given everything.

“You’ll never know if you will make it until you’ve spend a year at it or ten gigs. Its like learning a musical instrument except you’re doing all of your practise in public.

“Perseverance is more important that talent.”

Hopes for Arsenal

As an Arsenal fan it would be remiss of us not to ask him on his thoughts on the club’s season so far.

“I can see us winning a cup this season,” he said. “But I’m not sure we have the squad depth as have been proved recently.

“As soon as Ødegaard and Saliba went missing the other week, we drew and then lost. Its going in the right direction – football fans are never happy though are they.”

Milton is coming to the Cheese and Grain in Frome on December 12, Wellsprings in Taunton on December 15, the Westlands in Yeovil on February 12 as well as back-to-back nights at Komedia in Bath from February 13 to 14.

Tickets can be purchased from www.miltonjones.com